The other day, I stumbled upon a blog entitled “When Women Refuse“. I went through pages and pages of heart-wrenching stories of women being assaulted, beaten, and even killed when they refused a man’s advances. I became absolutely sick to my stomach reading those stories, thinking how those horrible things could happen to any girl I know.
There has been a lot of national attention on rape culture lately, and I am proud to see women and men around the world joining together for such an important cause. While my blood is nice and boiling, I’ve decided to compile a list for men and boys of all ages to showcase how absolutely ridiculous their entitled behavior can be:
DISCLAIMER: I am not a “man-hater”. I am just fed up with story after story of male abuse. We all should be.
1) Women are NOT objects. We are human beings, just like your mother, sisters, aunts, etc. My female status does not make me any less of a person.
2) The way we dress does not give you permission to touch our bodies or call us names. If I want to wear a short skirt, I should be able to wear it without the connotation that I am ready for you to approach me with sexual advances. It also does not make me a slut, or a whore. It makes me a person wearing clothes of my choosing.
3) A woman’s purpose in this world is not to serve a man. If I am in a loving relationship, I will do everything I can to show how much I care, love and respect my man. Women are here to do a lot of stuff greater than getting sandwiches or stroking egos.
4) WOMEN DO NOT OWE YOU ANYTHING. UNLESS YOU ARE INVITED, YOUR MALE STATUS DOES NOT ALLOW YOU TO TOUCH MY BODY. IT DOES NOT ALLOW YOU TO REACT POORLY IF I POLITELY DECLINE YOUR ADVANCES. All the same, my territory as a woman doesn’t grant me permission to be a bee-otch, unless provoked.
5) That being said, if we politely decline you, do the same and politely respect our choice. It is not personal, it is us simply choosing to not accept that drink, want to dance, etc. If you are such a “man”, I am sure you will find another girl in no time.
* As women/humans, we do need to remember to be kind and polite to ALL people, even if it is some guy at a bar you are just not interested in. But if he crosses the line, all bets are off.
6) Men, I realize it takes courage to walk up to a girl and strike up a conversation. But getting angry, calling her names, creepily commenting on her body as if you have a right to it is going to get you NOWHERE. You wonder why you have to be a coward and force yourself on girls? It’s because you’re a Grade A Douche who can’t get anyone to consent. Being a gentleman goes a long way, just like being a kind woman does.
7) My body parts are not for ownership, except by me. There is nothing more insulting than a man grabbing my butt in a bar because he feels he has the right to because his is a man, GOD’S GREATEST GIFT TO EARTH.
8) This isn’t quite a statement, but a question. Men, when has cat calling, booty grabbing, trash talking a woman EVER WORKED FOR YOU. I’m serious- when is the last time you passed a girl and said “hey sexy” and she turned around and went home with you? My guess is never, because now that girl hates you and is preparing her pepper spray.
9) Every girl insulted and assaulted has a mother, father, sister, brother, etc. She has a family. How would you feel if a woman in your family was treated the same way?
10) Being a dick to girls does not make you cool, it does not make you seem dominant or any more of a man. A real man treats women with respect, as a real woman treats men with respect.
I am lucky enough to know many men that are pure gentlemen. And unfortunately I do see a lot of them get pushed aside for the bad guys. I get it. Dating and sex are a tough game to play. But when does the bad guy ever win? When does he ever live happily ever after? Men, please do not succumb to asserting your “male dominance” to get the girl. It has never worked, and nor will it as now more than ever, we are fighting back.
This is an Alaïa 